The morning after he left was relatively peaceful, I could say. The people working around me suddenly seemed uncomfortable with me – no one spoke to me or came anywhere near me.
But that peace didn’t last. When lunchtime came, they completely changed their attitude like nothing had happened. Someone suddenly snatched the vegetables I was carefully preparing, saying they’d do it instead. Another person claimed my shoulders looked tense and started massaging them.
This fake behavior made me feel suffocated. On top of that, the hostile stares from around me – regardless of my own feelings – had become something I’d have to endure from now on.
“Really…”
A deep sigh escaped me involuntarily. At the sound of my sigh, someone I’d never exchanged a single word with before showed an uncomfortably intense interest in me.
“Eliat, is something bothering you? Why are you sighing so heavily?”
“Oh… no, it’s nothing like that.”
“Really? I’m free anytime, so if you have any troubles or worries, feel free to tell me. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
The words “since when were we friends?” stuck in my mouth like thorns. But I didn’t voice them. I was already uncomfortable enough receiving people’s stares – I didn’t want to do something that would make them openly hate me.
Just when I was trying to end the conversation by mumbling thanks for their concern, someone sitting diagonally from me tactlessly spoke up.
“But I’m curious about something…”
“Yeah?”
“How did you get to know the young master?”
“Oh, that’s…”
Using that person’s words like a signal flare, everyone who had been keeping their mouths shut started throwing questions at me.
“Right! I was curious about that too – where did you meet him? This is the first time I’ve seen anyone from the master’s family since working at this mansion!”
“Everyone’s missing the important point! Eliat, what exactly is your relationship with the young master? From the way he told you to come to his chambers at night… it doesn’t seem like an ordinary relationship.”
“Exactly! Just from the way the young master looked at Eliat earlier, something was definitely up! Those were the eyes of someone in love. Don’t tell me you’re going to end up getting married?”
People pressed me relentlessly without giving me a chance to answer. With dozens of eyes fixed on me like shackles, I was almost suffocating. Then, a woman who had been quietly watching this situation from afar muttered words full of hostility.
“Nobody even knows if that person is really the young master yet. Everyone’s so stupid…”
The conversation shifted to center around her. The people who had been clinging to me with sparkling eyes started arguing about how she could say such things, while those who had been watching this situation with displeasure countered that honestly, she wasn’t wrong.
In this headache-inducing situation, all I wanted was to escape this place quickly. Then Ralph, who had been frozen like a statue all morning, suddenly shouted.
“This isn’t a marketplace! Everyone shut up and get back to work! I’m already in a foul mood as it is. If you want to get caught by me and beaten senseless, keep it up!”
The people who had been making noise looked at Ralph nervously and slipped away to do their work. I had worried that once he left, Ralph would torment me terribly, but fortunately that didn’t happen.
Even now Ralph glared at me with trembling fists, but the fact that he couldn’t actually make any threats was proof of that.
‘Fortunately, that man’s intimidation seems to have worked. I can work in peace for a while.’
But right now, Ralph wasn’t the biggest problem. Even while working, I could feel persistent stares from somewhere, and when I turned my head, there was Emily glaring at me with murderous intent. Since our eyes met more than once or twice in this cramped kitchen, I had to work feeling like I was sitting on a bed of nails.
When lunchtime came, I ran away first. I wasn’t sure what I should say to Emily right now, and with my head already complicated, I wanted to postpone this headache-inducing matter even a little bit. I returned to the kitchen in time for dinner preparation, worked, and then ran off when it was time to finish.
But Emily, who had practically thrown down her cooking and chased after me, eventually caught me.
“Just how long are you going to keep running away? Just tell me straight out!”
“…No, I should tell you, I was going to tell you…”
“Then stop running around from now on and follow me.”
The place Emily led me to was the back mountain area where we often went. When Emily settled on a flat protruding rock, I also sat down on a nearby stone. Emily looked at me with eyes that flashed like blades and said:
“It’s just us here, so don’t worry and tell me.”
“…What exactly are you curious about?”
“Where you’ve been for the past two days, whether that person really is the young master, and what kind of relationship you have with him.”
“I stayed at the eastern annex for two days. I don’t really know if that person is really the young master or not. And we’re nothing to each other.”
At my words, Emily let out a hollow laugh like she couldn’t believe it.
“You expect me to believe that now? The reason you stayed at the annex for two days was because that so-called young master was there, wasn’t it? Would someone who’s nothing to you tell you to come to his quarters early today?”
When Emily pressed me like this, I had no words to make excuses. If only he hadn’t said those last words, there might have been some possibility of making excuses.
“I know you can’t believe it. But really… we’re not the kind of relationship you’re thinking of.”
“It looked like you even slept together.”
My face burned hot at Emily’s blunt words. I looked at her with a flustered expression.
“What…? We haven’t gone that far yet!”
“Ah, I see. You haven’t done it yet? Then you must have done something similar.”
“That’s…”
I couldn’t bring myself to lie in front of Emily’s expression that seemed to see right through me. When I couldn’t continue speaking, Emily let out a deep sigh.
“Fine, I don’t care if you sleep with that person, whether he’s the young master or whatever. It wouldn’t be bad to be a casual romantic partner who receives valuables or expensive gifts. But do you know what the problem is?”
“…What?”
“You can’t let yourself fall for him seriously. Marriage happens between people of matching status anyway. Maids like us are nothing more than entertainment for their amusement. Oh, right. If you’re lucky, you might become a concubine. But do you think the legitimate wife will leave you alone?”
“Emily…”
At first I thought she was angry because I hadn’t told her anything. But now I could see that wasn’t it.
Emily was genuinely worried about me. Her eyes looking at me wavered like ripples on water. When I stared blankly, Emily continued with a trembling voice.
“She absolutely won’t leave you alone. If a child is born between you and that person, from then on you’ll have to live your whole life walking on thin ice. What did I do today to displease the madam? Will mother get beaten again because of me? If they cut off our meals again this time, we might really starve to death…”
“……”
“Living like that, when even my weak mother died, I couldn’t bear it anymore so I ran away. All the way here where those people aren’t.”
“…Emily, you must have had a really hard time too. That’s why you’re worried about me?”
Emily bit her lips tightly and nodded. Her eyes were filled with tears that seemed ready to fall at any moment. I looked at Emily like that and hugged her tightly. Her body trembled finely in my arms, seemingly holding back tears.
Everyone who came to Herlin Manor had their own circumstances and pain. That’s why no one asked why someone had come to work at such an ominous mansion.
That was the same for me and the same for Emily. Perhaps that’s why Emily’s dark past, which I was hearing for the first time, made my heart ache even more.
“You really are the only person who truly worries about me. Thank you for caring.”
“…Eliat.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t die foolishly like my mother did. And don’t fall truly in love with that person either. You understand?”
Love.
Could I ever truly love him?
Actually, the problem facing me wasn’t something that simple. While dealing with that man who might be hiding some scheme, I had to break the magic carved into my body like a curse.
I didn’t know how long I could maintain my life, thin like an ant’s thread, and I might die the moment his feelings changed.
‘I want to live more than anyone. I have family to take care of and I want to watch my young siblings grow up a little more.’
But despite Emily’s worries, what awaited me at the end of this would probably be nothing but devastating despair. Of course, I’d struggle somehow to survive, but unless something major changed, wouldn’t I end up following the same procedure as the people who disappeared from this mansion?
“…I’ll try my best.”